TWO WEEKS! From today! Ahhh!!! I can't believe it. The only way to describe how I'm feeling right now is nervsacited.
So to break it down for you.
Nervous: I'm nervous in a weird way. When I really think about what I'm doing from an earthly perspective I think, "What in the world am I doing?" Or when I think about the fact that I don't have all my funds yet I am like "How is this going to work out?" But when I really think about it and really look at how God has opened this door for me and provided so much support already, I know that I can trust him to take care of me. I recently reread The Shack and one quote that really stuck out to me was from Jesus said this, "Do you realize that your imagination of the future, which is almost always dictated by fear of some kind, rarely if ever, pictures me there with you?" (pg. 142...if you are really interested haha) So when people ask me if I'm a nervous, my knee jerk reaction is to say yes because really...who wouldn't be at least a little bit nervous. But I'm not afraid. I know this is what God has called me to do. And when I picture these next 7 months with God right there with me (as I know he will be), I can't help but be at peace.
Sad: As I mentioned in a previous post, I am sad to be saying good-bye to all my friends and family here. Especially when I start thinking about small things like not being able to give hugs or go to soccer games or see people open my presents in person...I get really overwhelmed. Its not that I don't think I'll survive or that I doubt my calling..Its just that I'm struck by the reality that there are times when it will definitely be difficult being away from so many people I dearly love.
Excited: I'M GOING TO NEW ZEALAND TO BE A MISSIONARY!!!! How could I not be excited???? Honestly, its a dream come true. God has put a passion for missions on my heart since I first went on a mission trip to Juarez, Mexico back in 7th grade and throughout the years he has only confirmed that calling over and over again. I really can't imagine myself doing anything else more joyfully challenging or beautifully fulfilling. This is where God has called me to. And I cannot wait to see what he has in store for me. Yea! YEa! YeA!
So until next time, I'll leave you with a song that God has put on my heart.
Walking by faith and by sight :)
Peace and Love!