My first week here has been an interesting one. It hasn't been a normal week at Daughters so besides intercession in the morning, I haven't had any official tasks to do; however, this coming week I should be getting into more of a routine. I'm secretly excited to be doing data entry and analyzing some surveys. I'm a nerd. I know. It's cool how God has given me a way to contribute that fits right into things that I'm passionate about (research and prayer!).
Transition to my next random thought... Cambodia's nickname is the Kingdom of Wonder.
It's kinda funny; but also kinda fitting because my time here is a time of wondering (pun intended) and praying. This is a season for me to really seek God and His heart for my life. What I'm starting to realize is that He trusts me a lot more than I trust myself. Why is that? Why does he allow me to make decisions for myself? Sometimes I think life would be a lot easier if He simply told me what to do and where to go next. But that's the beauty of God isn't it? He loves us enough to give us choice. He loves us enough to allow us to make decisions and to meet us in the midst of them. This morning in my quiet time I came to a simple, yet powerful revelation. I need to stop praying for God to make decisions for me. I need to stop praying "Are you absolutely sure God? Really?" I need to stop being a Gideon asking for just one more sign. He knows my heart. He knows that deep down in my core I want to follow and glorify Him. And for some undeserved reason He trusts me.
The God of the universe trusts me.
I can't get over it.
BUT instead of sitting around in wonder second-guessing Him, I need to put on my big girl pants (trousers for all you British folk) and trust Him back. I need to pray USE ME in whatever decision I make.
So that's my prayer today. "Use me Lord."
Have peace, give love, and be used by God.