Two weekends ago I had the blessing of going to Sandblast, our summer youth retreat with my church. God was working in incredible ways and the Holy Spirit was authentically moving. It was amazing. And I got back feeling rested, refreshed, and renewed. My desire to serve the Lord and to do his work overseas was reaffirmed once again. But God was also speaking to me and asking me to ask myself some tough questions. See these past few months as I have been fundraising I have been putting my own efforts above the work that God is doing. I think of the song by Shane and Shane called "Burn us up" and the story it is based on of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abenego (I probably slaughtered the spelling...but just work with me here haha). What incredible faith that they had.
Seriously. I'm in awe.
They believed, without a doubt, that God was completely capable of saving them from the sentence of death. I imagine them looking the King in the eye and saying, "Bus us up; we will not worship your idols." A courageous stand, no doubt. But I think what's even more courageous and truly awe-inspiring is their courage to say more. "Even if God doesn't save us, even if we die, we will burn on His behalf because we know that he is the one and only true God."
These past few months I definitely have not been in that place. I've been saying, "Lord, I'll do all this fundraising, I'll go in the furnace but only if you'll provide all the money but only if you'll save me." I've been willing to go overseas and willing to put my faith in God that He will provide enough money for me but only if He did actually provide the money for me. See, if I'm being completely honest, it scares me to death to think that God won't provide the money. Not because I don't think he can, because I KNOW he can, but because if he doesn't that means He is leading me down a path that I haven't been aware of, a path I've had no control over. And I hate not being in control. But that's exactly where God wants me to be. He wants to be in control.
I want to be in a place where I can say, "Lord, throw me in the furnace! I know you can save me. But even if you don't, I will burn because I know you are the Lord of all the universe and worthy of my service, worthy of me following you, even if it means I will burn up."
So to leave you all, here is the song I was talking about. "Burn us up" by Shane and Shane. May you be challenged and inspired. And may your prayer for me and for yourself be simply this, "Lord, burn us up."
Peace and Love.